Is Balance a Myth?
These past few weeks at Skyline, we thought it would be great to highlight motherhood, the greatness, and the struggles. So, I asked a friend to write a blog post for me and of course, she said, “Yes, I would love to!” Then she realized, "I have no time to write this." I received a text saying, "I am sorry, I have to get better at saying no, upfront. I am so sorry that I let you down.” Why is it that we always have that never-ending pit in our stomach telling us that we are just never enough? "I am sorry I let you down." I detest saying those words so much that I will sacrifice almost anything, usually sleep in my case, so that I don't have to say them. Even the saying the word “No” is such a struggle.
Our world is such a paradox. We worship Wonder Woman and yet we constantly write blogs about how to rest and "Say No." How can we do both? Over the past 10 years, one of my constant prayers has been to find "balance." This seemingly impossible and almost mythical balance, where I could do everything that I thought God and everyone else thought that I should do and still feel rested, relaxed and happy. Well, I have come to believe that this is a myth. There is no actual balanced existence. No matter what you say yes to and what you say no to, there is always a cost. There is always someone or something that you must sacrifice to say yes to something else. Our culture cannot admit this. That would mean that we can't be Wonder Woman. We can't get it all done or pursue our dreams and pursue God's purpose for our life at the same time.
Being a mother made this incredibly clear for me. God brought this verse to me, Deuteronomy 11:19“Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” This passage is talking about teaching your children about God and what he has done and who he is. He asks me to teach our children about him throughout the day. So, if I am going to do this then I must be with my children and when I am with them, I have to be focused on leading and teaching them. I must know God well enough to teach them about him. This requires an enormous amount of time. It requires me to focus and use the time that I have, to develop relationships with my children so that they can learn.
The biggest dilemma Gary and I have right now is tackle football. Tayt really wants to play, but they practice 4 days a week and then have a game 1 day a week. Right now, we are doing 2 sports with him and we are running to practice almost every day. I can see our time slowly slipping away. I am frustrated and stressed and honestly, I am not a great superwoman. I keep going back to God and saying, “How God? How am I supposed to do this? Why aren't you giving me the strength that I need?” So, what is right? What should we do? I still don't know what is the "best" thing to do. I just know that whatever I say no or yes to I will have to sacrifice something from my kids.
Then I hear God say, “My strength is made perfect in your weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9. I am not Wonder Woman. I do not always make the right choices. I do not have balance in my life, but wow! I have an amazing God. He asks me to follow him every day, to get up, talk to him and read what he has to say, then follow Him in my next step. In following Him, I find a peace that overcomes my imbalance. A peace that illuminates his grace and redemption, not my "how does she do it?" appearance. In that place of resting on His wisdom and power, I can love and lead my children to Him. There is no better way to show my children God is real, then to allow them to see me being repentant to God and humble before Him. Then He can show them how He solves my problems.
As a mother, I want to reach out and hug you and say, balance and perfection is not something to seek, only Christ and his path. Sometimes His path seems off balance and sometimes it is insane to other people. But He is always worth it. He always loves, provides and redeems.
Isaiah 40:31 “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”