Show Me How To Trust Because I Am Scared
This is and has been my prayer to my Dad as I walk through this journey that I am walking with Him, my husband and my Skyline family now.
I am not scared of what is going to happen. What I am scared of is that I am not going to be able to serve Jesus the way my heart wants to. My dream is to keep leading, keep meeting with many people for Growth Catalyst, keep walking alongside people that want to say yes to Jesus and grow. My dream is to always be making a difference for Him. My dream is that when I meet with someone, I am not the person they remember but who they do remember is Jesus. My dream is to keep saying yes to Jesus, no matter what. My dream is to keep growing until I go Home to be with my Jesus.
I am scared because I am seeing that my body will not let me pursue my dreams. I get discouraged. I run and cry to Jesus to please show me His plan for my life as I am where I am in my life. I know that He has a purpose for me and I know His passion runs through my veins and my heart. I know that He sustains my breathing, my joy, my everything. So, I am confused. I hear Him tell me to rest in Him, trust in Him, to keep reading His Word and listen for His voice. Is He giving me a new purpose? Can I trust Him that if I must let go of what I have been doing to embrace what He is pouring new over me that I am still making a difference for Him?
Then I start to feel silly asking Jesus these questions. Why? Because I trust Jesus with all I am, with all my heart. I know I need Him 24/7. There is nothing I can do without Him. So, is this not trusting Him? I definitely know I’m scared.
I have been reading about Paul. I realized that Paul wrote some of the books of the Bible while he was in prison – so the verse in 2 Timothy 2:13 – “if we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot disown Himself,” how much more do I need to see that I can truly trust Jesus through this time. Paul’s circumstances in life changed for what would seem like the worst or nothing good could come from where he was. But His Word says - “He has saved us and called us to a holy life – not because of anything we have done but because of His own purpose and grace.” 2 Timothy 1:9
Every day I am running to my Dad and praising Him for His grace, mercy and all the love He keeps pouring over me. I ask Him to take my ugly thoughts and my ugly attitude and turn them into praises because I want to focus on Him and not me. And I am running to Him, burying myself into His arms, asking Him to keep reminding me that He knows my heart, my fears and He will never ever let me go or let me go alone.
Jesus, please continue to help me give you my scared every day.
My prayer for Skyline: Our Skyline family and guests will experience Jesus whenever they walk through any of the doors at Skyline, whenever they say yes to life groups, Growth Catalyst, serving in any ministry and coming alongside others to walk their Skyline paths together. So that they can grow in their relationship with Jesus and know what it is to live a life worth living.
How you can pray for me: Please pray that wherever I am physically, I will be able to put all my doubts, my questions and my fears into a tightly closed bag and lay them at His feet. And it must be a tightly closed bag because I am following Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding; in all my ways submit to Him and He will make my paths straight.