- Tania Santana
I'm Ready to Ask for Help
You and me against the world is what I always told Andrea, my 4 year old daughter who will soon be 5. Ever since I can remember, I never liked asking for help and did life alone. To me asking for help symbolized failure, it let others know that I was weak and not strong enough to get the job done. I remember there being a time where even asking a person for a quarter to complete a dollar for a soda from the vending machine was difficult. Through the years I have gotten better, but I had a long way to go.
Several months ago, I found myself pressured, overwhelmed and feeling alone. During that period, I cried out to God with anger, disappointment and exhaustion in my spirit, asking him for help. As I cried out, I heard him say I needed to rest and that he had given me everyone that I needed to help me in every situation I encounter. I knew that meant that I had to ask the people in my life for help. I began to pray, asking God to show me how to ask. To show me why it's so difficult for me to ask. To heal me in those areas. To show me his love and to guide me towards the right person. When I was praying, I didn't know what specific area I needed help with because I never thought of asking anyone for help. So that was something I also had to pray about. I did not understand; how can he tell me to rest? How am I going to do that? I questioned, does he not know how busy I am?
After several weeks of praying and wrestling with God. Andrea got really sick and I had to take her to the Emergency Room where she was diagnosed with pneumonia, thankfully it was not severe. Andrea has always suffered from tight chest and wheezing, but nothing like what I recently experienced with her. The house we live in has carpet in every room and I have always wanted to remove it, but I did not have the financial means to do so. So, the carpet stayed and I always wondered if It was affecting Andrea. Now, that she had gotten so sick I knew I had to remove the carpet somehow. Of course, my first thought was I can do it, yeah one room at a time, I got this! My second thought was I can always work extra hours and pay for it to get done. Both were doable options, but the reality was those options required my time, and money. Both areas in my life where I was already being stretched thin. As I was calculating and figuring things out in my mind, God let me know that I was not trusting him with all he has given me.
It took me a while, but I made the connection that by allowing my Skyline family to help me in my time of need, was a form of resting because I would not be worried or trying to figure it out alone. WOW!!! This is why we do not lean on our own understanding. Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Before I could let my anxiety creep in and attack God's plan with lies, I sent an Email to Marilou Dennis. The email had “Ready to ask for help” in the subject. At that point, I did not care about what condition the floors were underneath the carpet. I just knew that Andrea’s health was far more important than some floors. I let her know that I was thinking of asking Joe to help me put something together.
Just by writing the e-mail I felt like I was standing on the edge of the mountain looking down with fear, doubt and worry surrounding me. Yet, I knew that for me to grow, I had to be bold, courageous and stand firm in faith. Joe came to my house within days of the email. He came to see what needed to get done because he had already gathered the guys in his life group to help me and told me I wasn't alone because I had my family. I began to cry, tears of relief, joy and overall thankfulness. A few days later about 15 of my skyline family members showed up ready to rip out some carpet. Joe got sandwiches and drinks for everyone. I was so overwhelmed at how each of them showed me God's love. They each told me I wasn't alone and I have them because we are family. I have never felt or experienced anything like it. It was definitely a humbling experience.
The best thing was when Andrea got home and saw that the carpet was gone she said, “They did this all for me? God really loves me”. I spoke with Andrea and told her that I was wrong to tell her that it was just us against the world because we are not alone, we have our Skyline family. She now uses the word family to describe Skyline. The truth is that asking for help is a sign of strength and my rest is in God and my help comes from him. We are forever grateful to all who came out and helped. Thank you for loving our heavenly father and showing us his love through you.