I Am A Failure
Have you ever been plagued with the thought “I am a failure”?
I am. Constantly. Every day, several times a day a voice in my head confirms the label: failure.
It’s Monday morning and I forgot to wash my kids uniforms for school: Failure.
It’s date night and I’m too tired to honor my commitment to love my husband: Failure.
Oh look, another young entrepreneur that has it all together: Failure.
I forgot my Mom’s birthday: Failure.
It starts as a tiny seed. I think to myself, “It’s a passing and fleeting emotion. I’ll overcome this.” Plug in my earbuds, listen to an encouraging audible book and choose to keep moving forward. “I got this; I’ll just fail forward.” And I do; for a moment.
Until of course the next failure surfaces and it all comes crashing down. The seed sprouts like daylilies in the spring – out of nowhere a field of bright yellow doubt, insecurity, anxiety, fear and worry are blinding. The voice rises and says, “Just give up already. Can’t you see! You’re a failure! You might as well give up.”
Has that ever happened to you? Well, if it’s happening right now, please allow me to offer you a glimpse of hope from God’s truth. The first three chapters of Romans declares with perfect certainty: we have all failed. “There is no one righteous. Not even one” (Romans 3:11) “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).
With this truth in our heart we can tackle the lie: failure by whose standards? By the worlds? Guess what, Jesus defeated the world (John 16:33) and my salvation is in Him (Ephesians 1:13). By grace alone, the worlds standards that suffocate me, enslave my thoughts and burden my soul are irrelevant. We have all failed. It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of fact. And when you put the worlds version of your failure against this truth you realize – God Reigns! The struggle of failure versus success; the battle of supremacy; the checklist that I never finish; all the ways in which I fall short– none of it matters.
So, what’s next? Well, after the meltdown, when the storm-clouds finally clear, and the reigning truth supersedes the moment, we find rest because our hope and salvation is in Him.
I found rest today during my bible study when I read Acts 20:24, “I don’t care about my own life. The most important thing is that I complete my mission….to tell people the Good news about God’s grace.” Which is what inspired me to share this story. I pray that as you read this you find rest and peace in His incredible grace and unfailing love. Go ahead, “boast all the more gladly about your weakness. For his power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9).