There are many times when I hear the message and I think, “Oh, that’s a great message for somebody else to apply” but this one was clearly tagged for me. I kept smiling throughout because I was convinced that this was so true for my life and I couldn’t wait to put the bottom line into practice. I came home and shared some of the insights with Lynn and we had a good discussion about it. Now, when I think of some chore I’m supposed to do around the house, I have to think about what she values and why it is important to her. “That’s ridiculous” is no longer an acceptable response—even in my head.
One of the things we have ongoing disagreement about is where to set the thermostat in our house. Her value is to save money at all costs so it is set low in the winter and high in the summer. My value is to cite the other 99% of the population who prefer more moderate settings. I usually try to suck it up and go with the extreme temperatures (60 in the winter and 80 in the summer) but I realize that there is no joy in sucking it up…eventually it becomes annoying… and there is a danger that I will resent her for it. The way to make it work (and build our relationship!) is to adopt her value. To put it another way, I need to recognize the value in her value of living frugally so it becomes a challenge I can accept joyfully and energetically, eventually growing to the point where I actually hold her values as my own. I am looking forward to this and many other areas where God is challenging me to discover the joy of valuing what she values.